How Jaguar Love increased the FAIL of my evening.

This is not going to be a review of either Genghis Tron or The Faint - they both kicked ass, I assure you. Instead, this is going to be a review of the third band on last night's bill at the Vic - Jaguar Love. This band provided me with 45 minutes of excruciating aural torture. 45 minutes I cannot get back.

For reasons I don't understand, the Chicago Reader mentioned this band as the "must-see" of last night's bill, which, if you no longer have the will to live, would make sense. Otherwise I simply don't understand.

First of all, if you check out the band's My Space page and you find the lead singer, Johnny Whitney, and his seemingly helium-enhanced voice irritating, it is NOTHING compared to how this man sounds live. He shrieks, like a rape whistle, after every other word.

And his onstage patter follows a similar pattern only enhanced with this exaggerated Stephen Pearcy-esqe peacock preening: "CHI-caw-GO! WeregonnaplayanotherSAWNG! ForYOU!!!!" Three guys next to me kept heckling, but by the end the heckling turned into cries for help: "Please stop playing!!!" One guy had his hands over his ears, doubled over.

I listen to metal. I listen to GRINDCORE. And this dude's voice gave me a headache. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I nearly didn't get into the show after the walletdrama of earlier in the evening and losing my ticket. But no, I had no headache upon entering The Vic. I had an excruciating one when leaving. I just left their MySpace up for a couple of minutes while writing this post. My headache has returned.

Many people seemed to enjoy them though. A guy next to me, I think he was probably in his late 30's early 40's, mentioned "I guess if you are too young to remember glam rock these guys are entertaining." For me, it was more than that. I think my ears simply cannot handle the onslaught of the ungodly pitch of his shrieking. I couldn't hear anything else. I guess that's the point, but jeez. One day, this band is going play in front of the wrong audience and someone is going to jump on stage and throttle that dude. I wish last night it had been me.

But ya know, good luck to them, and what not.